There is a meme I saw recently that reads like this: “I had my first job before I could even get a driver’s license. So forgive me if I struggle to understand adults who refuse to work and still expect handouts.”
I understand the pride behind that sentiment. I started my first job when I was 13 years old. But as I read this meme, it strikes me as an expression of the stereotype people have of those who are in poverty or who live on the streets.
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In our present culture, there seems to be this attitude lying just under the surface that if a person is in poverty or lives on the street, it is their own fault, and it is likely the result of some character flaw.
The stereotype behind that attitude runs something like this. If you are homeless, you must be lazy; an alcoholic or drug addict; a school dropout; too criminal or antisocial to hold down a job; or some combination of the above.
A stereotype ignores the fact that everyone being stereotyped is a person and every person has their own story. Stereotypes rob people of their personal stories and impose on them a group story that may have no resemblance to them.
The guests at the Community Drop-in Center may all be in situations of financial insecurity or homelessness, but the stories of how they arrived there can be, and likely are, wildly different.
Let me tell you one of those stories.
B.H. graduated from his high school in 1993 as class valedictorian. Following his graduation, he attended Lewis & Clark College and earned his bachelor’s degree. He opened and ran his own restaurant, but after about five years he decided that the restaurant business was not for him.
B.H. sold his restaurant, enrolled in the MBA program at Portland State University, and spent the next couple of years earning his master’s degree (by the way, only about 10% of the U.S. population holds a master’s degree or higher). B.H. moved to Bend and started a career in the business world.
That doesn’t sound like a lazy, antisocial drug addict. Life was good.
But sometimes life changes direction all on its own.
A couple of years later, his mom was diagnosed with cancer, so B.H. moved to Newberg to be her caregiver. After six months, she lost her battle with cancer and died. The family chose to sell her house, so B.H. had to find a new place to live.
By this time B.H. was very successful and earning a six-digit income. He had also started a new relationship, so he signed a long-term lease on a nice house. He and his girlfriend moved in and started their new life together.
Not long after they moved into their house, B.H. suffered a “double” stroke (two blockages). Because of the physical limitations this caused, B.H. lost his job. His girlfriend became his caregiver, and at 46 this capable, self-sufficient man had to wrap his mind around the fact that he was dependent on other people for just about everything.
About five years after B.H. had his stroke, his girlfriend, who had health issues of her own, died in her sleep. B.H. had lost his companion and his caregiver. Without her income as a teacher, B.H. was no longer able to qualify for or pay for his rental, so he was evicted.
In May 2025, B.H. found himself on the streets.
Sometimes the tragedies that happen to a person aren’t their own fault. Sometimes hardships aren’t a result of someone’s bad decisions or faulty character.
B.H. applies for jobs and looks for work. For six years he has been applying for Supplemental Security Income and disability; he’s been turned down twice and is going through another appeal.
I’m not making this up — I couldn’t make this up.
The world used to see B.H. as intelligent and successful; now it just sees him as homeless — as a stereotype. B.H. suffers over that every day. He’s still the same intelligent person, but when the world tells you something long enough, it’s tempting to start believing it — even when it’s a lie.
I don’t think I would hold up as well as he has under such circumstances.
How does B.H. fit into the stereotype? He doesn’t, because a person with a story is hard to cram into a stereotype. B.H. is not the only homeless person with a story.
Everybody has a story even if they don’t have a home.
If you would like more information on the Community Wellness Collective or the Community Drop-in Center, or if you’d like to volunteer, make a donation, or schedule a presentation for your church or service organization, visit our website communitywellnesscollective.org.
