Written by Rory Kelly, a Newberg resident experiencing homelessness.
A wiser man than I once told me, “I don’t consider myself a Christian, but a follower of Christ.”
That’s why he is my counselor.
What this means to me is a reflection of alignment. Most people know the difference between right and wrong. However, when they are in the wrong, they shrug it off and act like it is somehow different when they do it.
As someone who is unhoused, I spend most of my free time in public. I witness many things that are not okay.
Even worse, I hear many people blame it on the unhoused.
I see overflowing store dumpsters filled up by someone in an oversized lifted pickup, not wanting to pay their trash bill. I see park messes from middle-class families. A urine smell behind buildings is usually from patrons leaving the bars. The piles of cigarette butts often come from people in cars dumping their ash trays. Beer cans piled in the wooded areas of the parks are usually bored teenagers.
It is sometimes easier to condemn others than it is to look in the mirror. Articles written by bloggers indicate that most people who car camp are drug addicts, backed up by his own anecdotal evidence from much larger cities. However, he states that when he was car camping, it was different because he was doing it for personal gain and was a “Digital Nomad.”
Under these same rules, I guess it is different when I do it because I am an “Ethical Nomad.”
I have found that when you actually talk to someone who is unhoused, they always have a story as to how they ended up there. Common ones being addictive medications, physical and psychological disabilities, disgruntled exes, and stolen inheritances.
Most of them are happy to tell their story as well. In fact, most are happy just to be treated like a human being again, because the worst part by far is the isolation and the loneliness. The witness I bear often goes unnoticed.
This is because when I am not too busy being an eyesore, I happen to be invisible.
For myself, I was married a year ago. I was very unhappy living with a wife who would not help. She had an affair and I still spent three years trying to make it work with her. After three years, I made the decision that being single was better than being with someone who won’t put their phone down. I gave her a clean divorce, though she didn’t deserve it. She waited until our pets, my tax papers, and our valuables were in her possession and proceeded to file a loaded restraining order on me. This is actually a very common thing for disgruntled family members and exes to do; the sad thing is that the law allows it and enables it to happen.
I choose to wear our rings on my cross necklace. Not because I’m sad and remorseful, but because my beliefs tell me acceptance and forgiveness are important virtues. I chose to maintain my grace.
I miss my dog every day. He was my best friend. He now lives with someone who doesn’t believe dogs need to be walked.
Most apartment complexes see a restraining order appear on a background check. They do not see the details of it, just that there is one in place. They do not investigate it, nor do they allow the person to explain it. When an apartment application costs $60 per applicant, it would cost me $600 to be denied by ten apartments. Even with my full-time job, that is more than I can afford to spend just to be told no for the same vague reason.
The average across the US is currently 28 vacant homes per unhoused person. Many are sitting on the market, in between renters, vacation homes, Airbnbs, or being held for investment purposes. Most private rentals are priced well above market value for profit.
It’s funny that people who build that much wealth off of renting to others at a jacked-up price, yet condemn those with nowhere to live as being “bums that refuse to work.”
I did, however, find a place to live for a couple of months. Within this time, I was able to use having an address to my advantage and found a new job. A landlord willing to see past my restraining order did come at a cost, though: the quality of roommates.
There was a roommate who would regularly break house rules, but then expect everyone else to follow them. Due to my use of communal spices and oil, which I replaced, I was locked out of our shared bathroom. After 48 hours, I decided I deserve better than having to relieve myself in the backyard. So this time around, I chose to be back in my car. I have too much integrity to be deprived of my basic human rights. Especially over things that are different when the other party does it.
Society holds a lot of stigmas against the unhoused; ironically, it glorifies the idea of van life. Many of us go unnoticed. We aren’t making messes, we have full-time jobs, and if talking to us directly, you cannot tell that we live in a car unless we say we do.
There are ways of being smart about it. A gym membership not only provides a place to work out, but also provides a shower. As a cook, I not only get my usual shift meals, but I also have crafty ways of feeding myself. I keep a small gas stove, a sauté pan, and a basic set of dishes. I store nonperishable goods in my storage unit to ensure I don’t go hungry. I’m working on purchasing a 12-volt refrigerator for my car. Needless to say, I eat well on a very reasonable budget; I think I eat healthier than many people feed themselves or their children.
I spend a lot of time at Sylvan Archers practicing with my bows. I have my basketball to shoot hoops in the park. Being an “And1”-branded ball I chose to name it Andi.
Though there is no face drawn in a bloody handprint.
I maintain better hygiene than many other men in this town. Especially those who believe deodorant doesn’t apply to them, pun intended.
I get through life because of an attitude that refuses to give up, and a mentality that perceives isolation as solitude. However, I found myself talking to another car camper who said, “Thank you for listening to me, this was my first conversation with another person in almost a year.”
Being rejected by society hurts. I helped him get from his driver’s seat to his wheelchair. He offered to buy me something to eat. However, I politely declined. I have cash flow, and if I can keep this up a little longer, I can afford my own property and a trailer. That is good enough for me, as I have learned how little I actually need.
However, the heat is becoming a factor. In the upcoming months, it’s only going to get hotter. When it costs $60 to fill my tank, I need to be smart with the air conditioning.
People shame other people out of their own insecurities and a sense of righteousness. People do this to the unhoused without thinking about the fact that they themselves could be only a few bad decisions away from that very fate. People are scared of the thought of losing their own stability. So they start to justify all of their own perceptions as to why the unhoused are without homes.
This leads to accusations and victim shaming. As people do this, they close themselves off to the possibility that it is another average person dealing with extraordinary circumstances beyond their own control. This closes many people off from being willing to help. Or worse, it causes many people to persecute others.
A few weeks ago, a large group was in Jaquith Park having a party. Children running around, and whoever was throwing the party could afford to rent a bounce house.
But, in the end, they couldn’t afford to spend any time cleaning up their own mess.
There were water balloons, bubble wands & containers, wet socks, and even a used diaper discarded all over the ground. The entire mess was within 50 feet of multiple trash cans. Each trash can had plenty of space to be filled.
I started to pick up trash on their behalf. Another unhoused individual rode his bike through the area to scrounge for cans and pick up trash. He was the type of person that people looked down upon and blamed for messes. If cans made it into a recycling bin in the first place, people wouldn’t rifle through the trash cans looking for them. He picked up trash while looking for cans.
Another stigma is often used to shame the unhoused: “They dig through the trash looking for items that don’t belong in the trash and leave messes while doing so.”
Yet, two members of the unhoused community cleaned up after these people. One of which made sure recyclables ended up in the correct container. A few weeks later, the condition of Jaquith Park is already trashed again. Not by the unhoused, but by the citizens who are too lazy to use the trash cans.
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room as well: substance abuse.
Another commonly noted reason I hear for why the unhoused should be shamed instead of helped is substance abuse. Allowing car camping will “forever change the city of Newberg.” When I returned home to Newberg a year ago, it was apparent that becoming “Wine County” had already changed Newberg forever.
For men, it is two glasses of wine; for women, it is one glass of wine. Any more than that consumed in a single day is technically substance abuse.
As it turns out, just because it is wine or craft beer does not make it any different. So, using realistic facts and figures, just how many people within the Newberg community are guilty of substance abuse?
Additionally, this town’s claim to fame is substance abuse. Businesses capitalize and prosper during the wine touring season. We opened up our city for people to come and abuse alcohol and spend their money. Yet, somehow it seems to be different because it is classy alcohol.
I do not drink or even smoke pot. If I get caught sleeping in my car and abusing any substance, I will face ramifications that I do not need in my life.
I do not get harassed by the police or the places that I sleep at night. I do not leave messes, and I treat my host with a sense of gratitude. If I use the Fred Meyer parking lot, I will purchase something from the store. I clean up other people’s messes when I spend my day at the park. I gift my oil paintings to the churches where I stay.
The only people who harass me are the individuals who assume that because I choose to sleep in my car that I must be an addict or a criminal.
Newberg has claimed the highest number of churches per capita in the state of Oregon. Yet only a small handful of them offer any real benefit to the poor. There are also a lot of phone-in Christians who live here. Being judgmental of others without holding any real alignment is called hypocrisy. That was in fact Christ’s message as he was persecuted by the Pharisees.
Therefore, I am not a Christian, but a follower of Jesus Christ. I value his words, and I value the way he taught me to treat other people. He never once said to shame or condemn others. Nor did he say to look for reasons why doing wrong is different when you do it. He said to love thy neighbor, not condemn them.
Many Americans are one financial disaster away from walking in my shoes. How do you want to be treated if that is where you find yourself? Shamed and talked down upon by the self-righteous? Or would you prefer respect and dignity? When faced with karma, you will be treated the same way you treated others.
– Rory Kelly
Rory has requested that if anyone would like to help, they be directed to the Family Life Church, which is currently raising funds for building renovations after their recent inspection. You can visit their donation website and choose “Heart for the House (Building Fund)”. Otherwise, he said, he’d support any donations going toward local animal shelters.
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